Nicole vs. Life
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
