thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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