mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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