got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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