dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My cat gives me a boner
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
