forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
