We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
