No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
