Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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