Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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