Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
