i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize