Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
