my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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