I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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