Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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