Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
