I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
