Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
