Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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