No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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