I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize