mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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