how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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