Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
