If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
