will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Man, jail baloney is awful.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
