im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
