My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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