I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
