I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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