the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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