I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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