We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
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What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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