it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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