Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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