i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
