Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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