so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
