I puked a lego.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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