Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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