Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
