ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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