I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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