I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
tell me about the eggs
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