Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
