youre lurking in front of me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he thought i was a dude.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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