i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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