are you still at the devil's house?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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