I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
