ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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