well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let's get the cat blown out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
