just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
