I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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