Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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