C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
