Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
